A Reality with Background Music

Sorry.

I go so caught up in my relentless routine that I forgot to log on.. surprise!

Where was I? ..nowhere? Oh, okay. Easy, I suppose.

It's nice kicking back a bruski with old friends for old time's sake. Sitting around a fire in the heat of summer. Still enjoying what extra heat it has to offer. Knowing that the beer ur drinking is out of place but is the binding entity [enjoy broad sweeping word] amidst the nite. All the stories we all shared that we all laughed at even tho they've already been abused to the point where any outsider would puke, reading a mental rendition of the "Midnight Summer's Redundency." It's nice having men who have women kick back as if nothing else exists. I have no woman... or guy, pervert... so pretending to be single is surprisingly easy for me. But the point hasnt been understood. Single, taken, complicated [compliments of facebook], these things dont exist during guys night... at all. We're just there, living in the past, calibrating the moment so we all walk out of it feeling a little less weight on our shoulders.

Life is beautiful.

Over a year since I've dated and I'm still, despite wanting a girlfriend, happy without one. I've done more than right by myself since my last days with a woman... more specifically: girl. I've all but extinguished my plans for "the future".. im living in the day, my day, a day i can enjoy with all.

Seize the date ::delete:: ::delete:: y!!!

Whoever said, "love works in mysterious ways," didn't know what they were talking about. Anyone who has ever been in love, or come close to being in love, which simply means 'you were and didn't want to admit it', knows that love doesn't work ...it just is...

We spend countless hours contemplating who the perfect one is... and when we meet someone, we compare them to that image, assuming the role of hind-sight. Hate to break the news to you, hind-sight and fore-sight aren't interchangable. Sometimes, well, most of the time, a great thing is staring you dead in the face. Often it's the people you already let close to you that're perfect for you.

For women, it's most often the men that take your pain to heart and chop at the bit to defend you. It's those guys that respect your friendship so much, they'll go to a number of lengths to protect it, even if it means settling for someone who means less to them than you do.

For men, often women don't act. It isn't within social constraint for them to do so... it is you initiative. If you want her, it's your job to get her.

...now mix the two together...

can you see a degree of impossibility?

[taking a few steps back] ...and I can only speak for men, as I am one, or like to call myself one

Contentment in one's self is key, only loathing that you, like all others, can't utilize hind-sight before it becomes hind-sight. You need to man up, be confident, and no, not in your ability to bag a hott date. You need to know that you can carry the world atop your shoulders because when you take on the task of a woman, sometimes they might need those shoulders to carry even more. With every human being comes a different interpretation of the world, thus comes a whole nother world, ending with "a man's shoulders being strong enough to carry his and that of his love."

Personally, I rest-easy in knowing I am a mna unto myself. I've grown to see myself as one-in-infantesimality. The world will never know me, nor will I ever know enough of it to be consider it even miniscule, but I will leave a mark that'll stand the test of time. Simply put, I can't help but know that my life means something, whether to you, or another, most certainly to me. I am content with who I am, who I have been, how I have become the man of today, and who I will sooner and later be.

With or without love... I am, and will always love.

Amidst a sea of bullshit meaning comes out of nowhere.

When I was younger, not much younger actually, I wanted to do something I'd be remember for... be a genius in my field, act, never wanted to sing, play an instrument, or most recently, be a nationally celebrated educator. Now'a'days, my life has, to the naked eye, dulled way down...

I am a tall, relatively slender, white caucasian [redundancy is purposeful] male. I have no religion. I have no love. I'm living my life as a college business student, an appreciated member of a supermarket customer service team, playing softball, helping raise my sister, caring for my only living grandmother, trying to scrounge enough money to fly 1500mi north to visit my cousin, very content with my place in life.

I know life most likely wont make me famous. I won't be remember by life, but I know I'll have love one's that remember my name and my legacy will be my bloodline.

I have become a man unto my father, emulating he who is most important in my life. I am everything he was and is... life is always work in progress. All of his life lessons and those learned before him, passed to him, have been embedded in me, making for a man only to be superseded by his own decedents.

...and life? content is the best way live it

Never too sad to mourn it, never too happy to give up on improving it.

I'm at a point in my life where my problems in coping with stress have failed to affect me... make it notable that I haven’t overcome any of it, there's simply no stress to be had.

Is life any fun?

...fuckin' no

I work a full-time work week for part-time pay, in a job I don't hate, though don't come anywhere near enjoying. I hang out with friends, all of which have girlfriends and obviously feel they've got better places to be. I come home to a mother, a father, a brother, sister, dog, two cats, and an ill grandmother who I help take care of. I'm preparing for what should be a rousing semester of numbers and capitalist conceptual thinking in my new school, FAU. I'm honored to be declared, by the Florida Real Estate Commission, minimally competent and licensed to practice the services of real estate in this great penis-shaped state I love to call home.

::yawn::

I just attended my third practice for my company softball team, on which I play first-base... when I was 10 years old, I dreamed playing professional baseball. Small compromises, right? Getting back to it, I'm replacing either a fat guy, a guy that bitches a lot, or a guy that can't catch a ball that starts its journey already in his glove which I'm convinced is filled with oil or butter or possibly even a light dab of KY, I can't remember which, but point made, I'm on a company softball team because some men just don't have the testicular fortitude to play slow pitch coed softball. I have no girlfriend; I haven't for a while. Too busy with life, I suppose, or maybe women don't like me... in 'that way'... which is more likely of the two reasons. Do I hurt? ...no. I'm not lonely so I have no reason to hurt. I'm going through life with friends I've grown to appreciate more than life itself. Can't argue those odds.

I'm happy... content is a better word... with my life thus far- lessons learned, wear n'tare, and all.

I was born in 1987 on the 20th of May at 7:35pm. I was normal.

...a bunch of what'not happened...

Now I'm 20 yrs old.

I'm... sarcastic to the n'th degree, harsh, funny, smart, tall, Caucasian, creative, unique, slender, overly dependable, a good teacher, in love with the business world, capitalist by political persuasion, atheist, mature, a mono-tone kind'a fun.

Medically, I'm cause for concern.

Intellectually, I'm a farce to be reckoned with.

Personally, my friends will never find a more dependable one.

Professionally, I am a man among men.

Occasionally, stress claims all that I hold dear.

Definitely, I take care of the women in my life.

Lovingly, my sister is most important in my life.

Spiritually, I'm reserved though quite engaged.

Surprisingly, I adapt to skill quicker than most.


The only problem with reality is... there's no background music

Remember, you're unique just like everyone else.

Life is best spent spending life on the best of life.

If you think things can't get any worse, your inate lack of imagination is obvious.

I intend to live forever or die trying


Where am I at in life?

I'm going into my sophomore year in college. I work at Publix, a supermarket, as a member of the customer service staff. I live at home with my mom, dad, brother, sister, nana, dog and two cats. I have my license to practice real estate in the state of Florida . Life's peachy... enough... for now.

-Mike